Bring on the Conflict!!!

I must admit, I don't like confrontation. I don't want to be the police of grammar, dress codes, etc. But conflict, on the other hand, is another story. I believe in the business case for diversity because I know that differing viewpoints/perspectives can enhance the decision-making/planning process.



CONFLICT

noun.  clash - collision - fight - strife - battle - struggle

verb.  clash - collide - disagree

When I was growing up, we used a sponge instead of a dish-rag to clean our drainboards, not counter-tops. I never knew any other way until I went to a diverse elementary school and learned that there were other kids in homes who had different names for the various things in their domiciles like utility rooms, laundry rooms, pantries, couches, sofas, chesterfields, etc. Pride of status and my own upbringing taught me to think my family's ways/terms were superior. But for some reason, I didn't like to think of myself as "better" than anyone else, so I embraced everyone who was different from me and I never ceased learning.

This musing will not present a scholarly treatise on the benefits of conflict. I will just surmise what you already know, even if it hasn't touched the surface of your consciousness yet.

When someone disagrees with you, what is your first response? Incredulity? Anger? Self-defense? If any of these are true, you might benefit from a study of emotional intelligence. When someone disagrees with you - hence - conflicts with your views - you should stop and think/contemplate/consider/ponder - did I grasp the entirety of the issue I intended to convey? Most certainly, the answer is, you did not!



The late Peter Drucker said that "You need dissent, but you have to make it productive...All the first-rate decision-makers I've observed had a very simple rule...If you have quick consensus on an important matter, don't make the decision. Acclamation means nobody has done the homework."

CREATE YOUR OWN CONFLICT

If everyone agrees with you, challenge their (and your own) assumptions.

• challenge assumptions
• require new perspectives (even if they are way out there)
• encourage growth

This will create an opportunity for each to understand his/her-self and learn better ways of communicating, which will encourage growth. 

If you want to remain immature and perhaps someday become obsolete, surround yourself with those who agree with everything you say/think. If you want to change something/the status quo/everything/the world, then surround yourself with those who have their own ideas/perspectives and are willing to open themselves up to the challenge of conflicting/dissenting/opposing views as you are. 

Your life/our world will never be the same...

Discordant Harmony

The People Who Pass Through Your Life Via Your Body

On Children

 Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Okay, so there are these people who enter this world by passing through your body. You have a visceral reaction to someone of the opposite sex and procreate. You think you are in love. You are so excited that you and this other godlike being have planted the seed of life in the form of another human being into your womb. Little did you know that the seed had ideas of its own. It grew and became an INDIVIDUAL. Yes, maybe it was forced by DNA to have brown eyes, knocked knees, high blood pressure, or WHATEVER. BUT, this person had a mind of his/her own from the moment of conception. 

Anyone who has had more than one child can attest to this fact. No child is an exact replica or mathematical equation of each of his/her parents. Even after birth, with all the inputs, the child will not comply!!! The child is...well...what...he/she...IS!!!

 

Lucky for us!

Diversity

Diversity (It can even be appreciated in an election year)

"I feel my heart break to see a nation ripped apart by its own greatest strength - its diversity." ~ Melissa Etheridge

What if everyone were just like me? While I like to think that I am AWESOME, (and I am, by the way), I don't possess all of the talents necessary to make this world go 'round. I don't have enough empathy. I am a loner. I am an observer rather than a socializer. I analyze situations from afar rather than joining in at ground zero. 

Because I know this about myself, I know that I need others around me to COMPLEMENT me. I cannot expect everyone to think and act as I do (and I thank God they don't, because then some of us would be unnecessary).

That being said, you out there who are different from me, I want to be your friend. I want you to get me out of my shell and make me do things sometimes that I would never do on my own. In turn, I will help you be more introspective and contemplative. We can be a great team.

This is extremely oversimplified, because there are many more multi-faceted individuals than the two in my example, but, I hope you get my drift.

Just think, if other people who are different from you bug you, how much do you think you may get on their last nerves?

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" ~ Luke 6:41

This, being an election year, has stirred all kinds of interchanges among people, many of whom are normally good friends, coworkers and church members, which makes it a good time to remember how much we need to treat others as we wish to be treated.

Don't make the mistake of believing your opinion is superior. "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." ~ Matthew 23:12