Perception...Is it REALITY?

P e r c e p t i o n

perception [pəˈsɛpʃən]  n

1. the act or the effect of perceiving

2. insight or intuition gained by perceiving

3. the ability or capacity to perceive

4. way of perceiving; awareness or consciousness; view

It's raining...it's gonna be a gloomy day.

It's raining...awesome! I don't have to water.

It's raining...people will be driving crazy today!

It's raining...________________ (fill in the blanks)

How do you interpret the events that occur in your life? Your perception is a very powerful tool in determining whether or not you have a good or bad experience, or whether or not a neutral incident totally floors you.

Your perception is your reality, therefore, to you...it IS reality.

Have you ever noticed how different people can experience the exact same event, yet interpret it in entirely different ways? WHERE does YOUR perception come from?

Those inner voices are not easy to distinguish. Sometimes we just accept them as reality, but are they? Is it possible they are someone ELSE'S reality? Someone who raised us or had a large influence over our lives in our formative years or vulnerable moments?

Next time you hear an inner voice trying to interpret an event for you, CHALLENGE IT!!! Is it true? How many ways can a rainy day be interpreted? As many ways as there are PERCEPTIONS of it. Think of the voices in your head. Are they truly yours, or did you just assimilate them? THINK. Be your own best friend/counselor/confidante. Delve into those common interpretations and figure out where they really come from, and then become the author of your new, healthier inner voices. 

Tell Me Lies

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." - Erica Jong

How many times have you asked someone what you should do about something when you already knew in the depths of your soul what the correct course of action was? It's actually kind of silly because no matter what anyone says, the facts of the situation will not change. Your true friends will tell you what you know to be the right answers. The ones who don't care will tell you the beautiful lies that your heart craves. 

"Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them." - Lou Holtz

Some people revel in the misfortunes of others. Your troubles are fodder for their entertainment. If you are so insecure that you need accolades from the other failures surrounding you, you will get what you deserve. Don't let anyone make you feel less than the beautiful human being you are.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

When you are authentic, you can be assured that those who stick around are the ones who really care about you.

Embracing Your Demons

We all have them. Our own personal demons.

Mine are voices in my head telling me things like,

"You'll never be good enough!" or
"Life isn't worth living!"

 

Being the analytical person I am, my first reaction is to create a spreadsheet and detail all of the reasons pro and con why either of these statements are true. One of my "talents" is being able to see both sides of an argument, so, unless I have an unmovable position or opinion on something, I will never finish arguing with myself.

 

When you fight your demons, you give them power over you. The fight itself is an acknowledgment of defeat. They have no power over you if you do not view them as your enemy. They are just THERE. They cannot hurt you unless you let them.

You are not abnormal if you have horrible thoughts or anxieties. EVERYONE has them...even the person you think is the most put-together, exemplary saint! 

Sometimes, perseverance in light of difficulty is the only secret to success.

Western psychotherapy has symptom reduction as its goal. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is "based on the view that the ongoing attempt to get rid of the 'symptoms' actually creates a clinical disorder in the first place."

 

Just as with the quicksand analogy, "struggling is the worst thing you can possibly do. The way to survive is to lie back, spread out your arms and float on the surface. It's tricky, because every instinct tells you to struggle; but if you do so, you'll drown."

You won't be able to relax and float on your demon quicksand unless you trust that I am telling you the truth. If you have ever tried to teach a child to swim, you can perhaps relate to what I am telling you. YOU know that you would never do anything to hurt them (i.e., drown them), but they are still petrified. It is a slow dance of hugging and wading close together, then moving apart ever so slowly. Each child is different, as are we.


Sometimes, we are simply afraid that other people will "find us out." Do you really think you are fooling anyone? Most likely, if you have a weakness or flaw, everyone around you knows. Embrace it. Own it. THEN DO BETTER. People will respect you more if you are authentic.


 "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." -Proverbs 16:18
Reference: Harris, Russel; 2006. Psychotherapy in Australia, Vol. 12, No. 4, August.